March 18, 2014

Between Heaven and Hell: the morphing of one soon to be practitioner

The Reading List for Won


The striking pose Acupuncture takes is seen in how masterfully it works.

I can see the light shine in ones eyes, when they talk about it. "Oh you have to get Acupuncture...Why don't you be an Acupuncturist instead of a surgeon? You should. Oh it's wonderful..."

The reason I was interested in surgery once upon a time, was because of its intensity and I do have a thing for needles. I was directed by mentors who felt I had gifted hands and vision, as well as a knack for merging with people.

"If people meditated more, they wouldn't have to see me as much" said one of the masters of this fine art of Acupuncture and Moxa.
That shows me the powers of deep, devoted meditation because what I'm experiencing from Acupuncture is nothing less than a rebirth a re-connection to my depths, my roots.
My first visit to the DO, who did manual manipulations on me, was a similar sensation. I tingled for days. Literally tingled like a bright light was bouncing around inside of me, sometimes tickling, sometimes oozing.

But, Acupuncture is on such a foundational level, such a deep set, rooted in humans as nature.
It's shocking the transformation. It's instant. It reveals how your body can be free from disease.
My recent treatment feels much like a dream quest. I hope I make it to work today.

The dainty needles, perusing places that are tender.
I now have the grasp of telling my graceful Acupuncturist as she uses her chakra charged fingers to tap lightly the areas she feels need the microscopic needles, "yup, right there, you found it.That's it, put it right there. Ah" I breathe as I feel the subtle wind of qi circulating back into the universe, into my earth (it tickles, like a fairy is tickling you.)
After awhile it feels so good that the needles are in there, because your body has been crying for it (perhaps that's just me.)
After the treatment she did on my back and neck, I was instantly drawn to my yoga mat where I was able to camel, butterfly, visvamitrasana , garudasana all over the place. Oh yeah. This is what they really meant by, 'just what the doctor ordered.'

She feels with her hands the areas that are hot, cold. Gingerly holding my wrists, closing her eyes to observe my pulse, monitor my movements. She leaves no stone un-turned in my history. I know we are a team for my health.
I'm always hot up top and cold down below and sometimes a mixture in between. My constitution, could be fire, but I am a lover of winter and water, warmth- determined to make things happen like the pioneer, but constantly arranging and harmonizing like the peacemaker. I'm feeling like I may be an earth constitution, today.
"It takes time,"
it's an evolution, which comes as the layers of what doesn't belong get pealed away, free to roam, circulate, go away and come back.
There is literally a method called scraping, which I've yet to experience. I can imagine it scrapes away at the layers that one may refuse to give up.


I feel whole again. I say again, because I know there was a time, in a past life, that I felt this entirely whole. Round. Light. Free. Open. Fluid. Connected to everything with the universe right inside of me, paradoxically connected to nothing, at the same time.

I can bend. I can breathe. I can be. I'm fully alive now.

That was what lacked for me as I ran around the retina clinic, wondering would we help anyone today? The adrenaline pumping my qi, pulsating through my blood, filling my veins. I was rewarded with each rescue.
As we told people mostly, "I'm so sorry, I wish I had more to offer. Eat well, take care of yourself, get rid of the white breads etc."
As we watched them deteriorate right before our eyes. Why didn't we tell them, moreover they were coming to us, why didn't we show them, guide them, place our hands on them and assist them in getting rid of this lack of ease they were carrying. Some figured it out. Most did not.
Well, it wasn't what we did. We cut and pasted.
What was missing, was it working. It was mostly a cut and paste, to give them back very little, if anything at all, once they had already been too far gone (is there such a thing, I think not, the most chronic condition can't resist the powers of a medicine that works.)

One of the surgeons told a man who flew from the other side of the world to see him for his Central Serous Retinopathy, "this guy really needs to meditate." But, he never told the guy who flew across the world to see this renowned surgeon, this brilliant, gentle and loving soul with the hands of a demigod precise and delicate enough to cut into an area that is delicate enough to reflect light- he never told the guy, 'your prescription is to meditate.'
That is literally why this guys retina was lifting off of the back of his eye.
He needed to meditate.
But, he was a surgeon. He smiled delicately at me and meant what he said. His actions towards this patient were to calmly advise him, "It should go away. It could be caused by stress." That in itself, did provide this human with the tools it would require to fix his condition. Would he?
What he did, did not involve advising on meditation.
It was up to this guy, who had enough wisdom to fly across the world, to know who to ask, what to ask and where to go to find the one who could answer him.
 Perhaps on his side of the world in Bali, he could have asked the local bush man for better advice on this particular condition. We all make choices. It is all available to us. Nothing is hidden, or not in existence. Will we allow it?

I knew then, I wanted to be in the office, be the practitioner that said, "There I've done what I can for you, now go and meditate, go join with your yoga, let go of your poisons and free yourself to rid the disease from your life. Make good choices. Be well. Love yourself. Connect with yourself. The entire universe is inside of you. Don't allow the stress to kill you."

When my daughter was diagnosed with something that could kill her, whether she had surgery or not, I realized there had to be more in this life than what I was embracing. The surgeon was unable to do anything, but hug me and say, "I'm so sorry." Another said, "We can remove the back of her skull. It's our meat and potatoes." Not much class, some of these grinders. I say this with all the love in the world.
He was so very sincere, what a kind man. He can't help that he was not educated about what could actually help her. What he did was orthopedic surgery, neurological surgeries, spinal surgeries, on conditions he knew how to fix (a relative term in orthopedics and neurology. There is so much they do not know about the brain.)
I rarely hate the ignorant, they just don't know. They are blinded by what they do know. They have molded themselves to fit what they do every day. Just as the rest of us. I'm working on backbends, he's working on having a tough enough stomach to slice into a child's brain. I can relate entirely. Every med student needs to toughen themselves against the gag reflex and fainting.

I feel I've embraced both worlds enough to know, that I will be less concerned with the Integration of Advanced medicine into Western medicine, and more concerned with the union of the Advanced Medicine practitioners. They are in two separate worlds the surgeon and the Acupuncturist, for example.
"They should be advising their patients, prescribing these other modalities when it can help their patients."T This is true, but it is not their specialty, or their job. We as the person in their hospital, must understand if we are visiting a surgeon, they will advise for surgery, or not. But, you will not be getting wellness advise on that end. That is up to you to find.
I'm staying clear of the 'I should' for myself, and the 'they should,' for others in the name of a peaceful place. They won't. They are cutting into people, every day. That is something my Tao mind does not want to be doing. There mind mushes forward on a different method. And what they provide can be valuable.

While learning to not black out while observing surgeries, I realized, in order to do this work I would have had to go to a place that did not include learning about Acupuncture or other  modalities as a means to cure disease,
 because I would have to detach from that part of the world and that part of myself in order to gain the focus it requires to do the kind of work, which is filled with a lot of blood, a lot of guts and things that do not include the specialty focus, the tender ability, the whispering vision, that is required for the other side of medicine. "You have to be checked out to a certain extent." Said a wise Acupuncturist teacher. Perhaps the surgeon feels the same way about me and my meditation making disease turn to ease. I'm okay with that.

It is up to the individual to know what is available to them, and to take advantage of that themselves, independently. Use your personal power.
The surgeon will not be advising you to take your yoga classes and get your chakras cleared, even if they know your energies are off, because they can certainly feel it.
There is enough integrating that needs to be done amongst DO's, Acupuncturists, Structural Integrative therapists, Reiki specialists, Cranial Sacral Therapists, Thai Yoga Massage Therapists, Those who do Marma Points and those who don't (What's the difference between marma points and acupressure anyway,) Qigong, Yoga angels, Ayurvedic Yoga teachers who dance with fire and assist you to free yourself into immortality.
I'm concerned with those who want to be a part of it and with those that are a part of it, not those who need so much proof because they are not getting educated. This said, I will continue to do the research, because it's so much fun. Using light to produce images. That's magic and physics.

I'm sure the fight of those educating, is a rough road. That part of my life is over now, as I will be educating myself enough to know how the medicine works, works.
How to make our bodies work.
How to make our lives work.
I'm also glad I got to see the sweet although indifferent to the softer side of the world, adorable underbellies of the surgeons that we have in this country. As I've said, our emergency medicine is like no other. We all learned from war here and that we are designed for. JM, AS, RS, OG, SG, GB, WM, AH, TO, RV and all the rest. I adore you, and your Sci Fi novel you wrote while on your 2 minute lunch break and the yoga you practiced that none of us knew about (SG) and the meditating you did, which likely contributed to the space on the 8th floor (AS) for the retina you taught me to see, which I'm convinced is modeled after the solar system. You are beautiful people and taught me how one person could try their best to take care of 100 people in a day.

As recommended by one of my new teachers I'm adding this to my reading list, "Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide to Chinese Medicine." By Harriet Beinfield, L.Ac. and Efrem Korngold, L.Ac., O.M.D. A very hearty guide to theory, therapy and types inclusive with the metaphysics(assumptions about reality), epistemology(ways of acquiring knowledge) and ideaology(systems of beliefs and values), which shines through the Tao imperative of preserving life. And I'd add, immortality.

I'm also adding and will be practicing the below Thai yoga massage review on an ideal sports torn manly man (really just a flower deep down,) as a practice to include this in my yoga classes after my training.


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